Spending Time with Kids After FIRE: A Daughter’s Insight
A recent discussion among young families has centered on whether to pursue Financial Independence and Early Retirement (FIRE) while children are still young, or to push a little farther on net worth first. Here’s a personal story that might shed light on the choice.
Back when my younger daughter was born, I was deeply involved in building a startup. I prioritized being a dad, but time was scarce, and the hours I did spend with her had to be shared with her older sibling. She also has a personality quite different from mine, which meant she formed a closer bond with my wife.
A few years ago, I reached FIRE and deliberately focused on strengthening our relationship with her. My aim was for her to feel that she could come to me, not just to her mom. Yesterday, she revealed she wanted to open Christmas gifts early because I would be away on Christmas Day visiting my father. When I asked why, she said she loved seeing my smile as she opened presents and cherished the hugs we shared. That moment, honestly, hit me hard and left me quite emotional. So, we ended up opening gifts the night before.
This was especially meaningful given how this year has unfolded. I no longer feel compelled to work, and in recent years I’ve declined several high-profile opportunities, opting instead to offer guidance and consultancy to founders and VC firms. Lately, I’ve sensed that some people think I’m no longer “in the game” or able to contribute meaningfully. I know I still can help, but I can understand where that sentiment comes from. Her simple, heartfelt comment reframed things for me.
Of course, FIRE is a significant privilege. If you have the means and the ability, and you have young children, it’s worth considering the option. For me, the decision to prioritize time with my family has proven invaluable and deeply meaningful.
